Today, this dual reality hit me with a heavy fist when I was reading a great song from the prayer book - Song 37 verse 3 (Psalms 37:3), "Trust in the Lord and do good..."  On the surface, this verse seemed tame and polite. But when sitting with Holy Spirit and with a heart postured in humility and hunger before God, those tame and polite words morphed into flaming swords, penetrated my soul and exposed my motives and character.
A friend who is 20+ years my elder, when asked, "If you had to live your life over what would you different to avoid the mistakes" said, "I don't live in the past." I understood the answer, but here's what I heard him say, that he didn't literally say, One can't afford to live with regret. It costs too much and takes you where you don't want to go. Regret always makes it about you.
We all want to be valuable. I know, because - Love is proof. Acceptance is proof. Security is proof. Connection with others is proof. Laughter is proof. Even something negative like, betrayal is proof. We want to be treated valuable and the fact that betrayal hurts is proof.