the exposure of seeds
Seeds are amazing. They carry the DNA of the "mother plant" and are able to produce in unique and life giving ways. Seeds take many shapes, sizes and forms. Children are the result of seed. The large oak tree in front of my yard is the result of a seed. The weeds in my yard a result of seed. God's word is described as seed. I remember as a kid watching my great grandfather work in his garden. Those giant vegetables are the result of seed (as well as many other things). I am thinking of seed today, because over the recent days I have sensed and felt the internal struggle of seed. Within me is the seed of greatness. I know that the greatness if the redeeming power of Jesus expressed through my life, gift mix, personality, etc. On a side note, I think too many people see themselves on the wrong side of the cross. A popular worship tune says, "The world behind me and the cross before me...." I am not sure I agree with that. I know Paul says that the takes up his cross daily, but the cross is not my destination as much as it is a means to my destination, the manifestation of the living the resurrected life. There are seeds inside of me and they are wrestling for dominance and for the nutrients of my heart. Wrestling against God's resurrection power are the seeds of fear and an orphan spirit. I am in a kairos moment to discover what makes me come alive. As my friend Chad said today, it's true that I was created for a purpose, but it's equally true that the purpose was created for me. It's fulfilling what only I can do and was specifically designed to that I experience the nature and happiness of loving God. The seeds of orphanhood are still in me. yes, the title of my blog is "no longer orphans, but sons and daughters." But don't you agree that their are days where that is not reality in your soul? It's true for me. I see the orphan spirit, if you will, most often in the way I hear and receive things. I detest it. It's bitter to the tastebuds of my spirit. So I have a choice. Do I allow the seeds to have fertile ground in my heart? Do I allow my fear and lack of trust to cultivate and grow these seeds of orphanhood into a tree that casts a dark and gloomy shadow on my future? I don't think so. Within my mind there is a unholy partnership. Fear and an orphan spirit have made an alliance. It's goal is for me to live a life of significance where the significance is stewarding more by the influence of the demonic than the life giving influence of God's spirit. There is a voice of truth, and I need to hear it.
The voice of truth, trust in God, a strong community, the ability to hear God speak are some key ingredients that are to comprise the greenhouse of my heart. It's in that context that I want the text of sonship to take root. How do I continually emerge into who I was called to become? What do I do that makes me deliriously happy? What makes me feel alive?
I am in transition in my life. Part of me does not like it. Part of me loves it. I have unwritten pages in front of me. I do not want to get years down the road, read the pages that are being written and regret what was written based upon my choices and trust in God. To say this is a deep work is an understatement. This is a monumental time in my life.