locked in fear....part 1
Recently I was reading in my journal from 2007. As mentioned in some earlier and older blogs I had a very profound dream. It's profundity was felt at the time of the dream, but the intensity and relevance has increased over time. When reading the dream, it's interpretation and what God was saying to me, I can feel the emotions stir again, as if I were in that moment right now. So to keep you from shopping through old blog entries my dream came the Saturday night after Graham Cooke had visited our church. In my dream I was free falling, as if I were skydiving, but I had no parachute and I was not sure why I had jumped. Graham was in my dream. It was a very short dream in its duration, but transforming in its message. In the dream I asked the Lord why I had jumped. He stated that my question revealed what he was addressing in my own life....the need to know why before I would jump. To help you understand the context more clearly, I was slated to speak Sunday morning, September 9th at my local church. This dream happened somewhere between midnight Saturday night and 4 am Sunday morning. I specifically remember 4 am because I had scheduled myself to be in our 24/7 prayer room from 5 am to 7 am. I had nothing to preach and had planned to develop "my message" during my 2 hours. The dream changed it all. During those 2 hours I responded to the Lord and began to tell him why I will not jump into some of dreams, desires and challenges in my life. I would tell him why and he would answer me. That's what I shared that morning in our local house and it was powerful.
I often refer to that journal entry because it resonates within my heart. I still have fears and know that I still have refused to jump. My failure to jump is not comprehensive in its scope, but it's any seed of fear in me that is an agreement with hell which will minimize my destiny and laboring with God.
All of this brings me to my recent reading in John. I typically read a passage and meditate for some time on it. My reading and meditation is often for depth, not breadth. I came across John 20.19, "On that evening of the first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you."
There are days, even weeks, when I live at the same address as the disciples. You can put whatever street name and number you want on it, but it looks familiar. The locked door and fearful heart look familiar. But here is a group of men who have laid it all down for Christ and are afraid. Uncertainty is their closest comrade and it seems all they know to do is to be together. But what happen to this group of men who go from living behind closed doors of fear to preaching in Acts while demonstrating the Kingdom of God?
My insights are not complete, but I wanted to get them on the blog.
1. Jesus invaded their lives behind doors of fear.
He did not pull them out of their place of fear, instead he invaded it. He did not knock to see if he could come in or see if they would come out. He invaded. I know that we believe God is a gentleman and we have a choice in this journey with God, but the disciples had made their choice. They were following their rabbi. They had a strong relationship with Jesus. He had demonstrated many, many things to them and spoke of this moment in time. I am glad God does not always wait for me to open the doors of fear and invite him. The Holy Spirit has been sent and lives inside of us. I wonder, just wonder, if the doors of fear were not only to keep the Jews out (which is implied in the text), but if they were locked to keep the disciples in. That's true for me. Afraid of what comes in. Afraid of going out.
Jesus invaded their dormitory of fear and spoke to them.
My encouragment is that we , as a church, as a community of history makers, not wait for our fear to subside or go underground, but ask for an invasion of God's spirit. I want God to supernaturally enter into the secret places of my heart and show up. Fear will tremble. It will be dealt with. Fear and the manifestation of God's spirit cannot co exist in the same house. The Holy Spriti is a river and he longs to get out
Jesus help! Invade the secret places and deliver me from the strongholds of fear. Liberate and set me free. I am no longer afraid of who or what may come and attack. I am no longer afraid to leave. Lives are waiting on the impact of the Spirit that will flow through me. Amen.
until next time....